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In Honor Of The Taxpayers Who Funded It And Built It!  Boston, Massachusetts, USA [photo source: Boston Bruins. Inspired by The Hockey Chronicles.] 3.31.2004
Boston Taxpayers To Receive Healthy Dose Of "Agent-in-your-face". A Boston agent warns taxpayers "to stay away. You and your Federal Reserve Note fiat currency units are not wanted here." Flashback Phsyc! "Visits By Fecal Alchemists in July of 2004 projected to boost fiat currency ecomony of the Boston taxpayers." Not! US Agents, some who will dress up in ninja black and wear black kevlar helmuts flack jackets and carry fully loaded machine guns - with fore-finger near the trigger, will man road blocks and other check points near the FleetCenter, and use deadly force, if necessary, to prevent taxpayers from driving on or walking on The Taxpayers' Highway and The Taxpayers' Bridge - in both directions - for all four evenings (July 26 to July 29) that the Fecal Alchemists - called Democratic National Convention - will be standing in the FleetCenter. US Agents, some who will dress up in ninja black and wear black kevlar helmuts flack jackets and carry fully loaded machine guns - with fore-finger near the trigger, will man road blocks and other check points near North Station, and use deadly force, if necessary, to prevent taxpayers from walking into North Station. The US agents will also prevent all taxpayer rail and subway service into and out of North Station, said agents involved with providing protection for the Fecal Alchemists. Certain agents had hoped for more limited disruption to taxpayers and had argued that shutting down both the highway and the rail and subway service would create a mobility nightmare the last week of July. But the closure of North Station commuter rail, in particular, became "nonnegotiable" after the March 11 train bombings on the landmass called Madrid, according to one of the agents. The highway, at The Taxpayers' Bridge and at the northern portal of The Taxpayers' Tunnel, will be blocked by agents with machine guns, because it comes within 40 feet of the FleetCenter. Agents are concerned that there was no other way to prevent a taxpayer from driving a truck - with a bomb in it - over the bridge and coming dangerously close to the FleetCenter while the Fecal Alchemists are in the FleetCenter. Agents declined to comment on the plans, but Boston one agent who has sat in on the protection planning discussions over the last several months said, "We're just going to have to discourage taxpayers from coming to the landmass called Boston that week." The major items of the protection plan to be unveiled include: ~ Shutting down The Taxpayers' Bridge near the FleetCenter for the evening sessions of the convention, from July 26 to July 29. It was not clear last night what time the shutdown would begin. One agent said the road would be closed in the late afternoon, but another said that taxpayers would be allowed to get to their dwellings in the early evening rush hour, and then the highway would be closed. ~ Keeping taxpayers in rail trains away from North Station when the Fecal Alchemists are in the the FleetCenter and forcing approximately 25,000 taxpayers to disembark north of Boston and get on buses or subway lines to finish the trip into the landmass. Taxpayers would have to do the same thing in reverse to get back to their dwellings at the end of the day. An agent, who would not state the name that his mother calls him by, said yesterday that agents will do every thing in their powers to prevent taxpayers in and around North Station beginning the Friday before the Fecal Alchemists' meeting (July 23) and continuing until July 29. ~ Keeping taxpayers away from the new North Station subway station at the corner of Causeway and Canal streets to Orange and Green Line service. Orange Line cars will go through without stopping; Green Line trolleys will empty at Haymarket, and taxpayers bound for North Station, Science Park, and Lechmere will be forced to board buses or told to leave. Agents armed and on-the-ready to use physical force to prevent taxpayers' access to The Taxpayers' Bridge and The Taxpayers' Highway, is expected to be "highly disruptive". The agents in favor of less road blocks showed the agents in favor of the extensive use of roadblocks the complicated detours that would result from the highway closure. Taxpayers in autos may be forced by agents into The Taxpayers' Tunnel then forced onto Route 1-A - if they wish to travel north. A compromise that was "in play" between the agents, which, if implemented, would force taxpyers away from The Taxpayers' Bridge and The Taxpayers' Highway only during the final night of the convention, when the Supreme Fecal Alchemist addresses the convention. At one point, agents in favor of less roadblocks (and less agents with machine guns) also argued that The Taxpayers' Bridge and The Taxpayers' Highway should remain open except when Supreme Fecal Alchemist is in the building. But the agents in favor of more roadblocks (and more agents with machine guns) argued that Fecal Alchemist and Phobocrats in the FleetCenter withOUT their Supreme Fecal Alchemist present would be as likely a target as if the Supreme Fecal Alchemist were with them, an agent involved with convention planning said. (He is concerned about the number of agents needed around the FleetCenter whenever the building is full with wanna-be agents, typically late afternoon through the evening). Agents normally responsible for the bridge and highway near the FleetCenter declined to comment. A key Massachusett agent in favor of less roadblocks (and less agents with machine guns) said he deferred to the agents in favor of more roadblocks (and more agents with machine guns) because they were US agents. This same Massachusett agent declined to comment about the penis size of the said US agents. A key Boston agent would not comment on any of the Fecal Alchemist and Phobocrat protection plans put together by the US agents nor on the said US agents' penis sizes. The Fecal Alchemist and Phobocrat protection plans, as well as a flurry of transit and highway construction projects that will be going on through July, have raised taxpayer concerns that Boston will be a traffic and transit nightmare during the week that the wanna-be Fecal Alchemists and Phobocrats are present. Another key Massachusett agent suggested switching the venue to the new convention center on the landmass called South Boston, but that plan was rebuffed as "unworkable"* by the wanna-be Fecal Alchemist and Phobocrat planners. *Ed. Note - Johnny Cheese's (now-5-year-old) daughter asked me, "If moved, then would that mean that, technically speaking, if you were judging the game, you would have to give one point to the terrorists? 3.14.2004
John Carroll and ML Carr. "John Carroll was seen up late shooting darts and receiving sympathetic hugs from ML Carr last night. A psychiatric detail has been assigned to follow him in case he gets to close to the edge of The Taxpayers' Bridge." DISCLAIMER The Taxpayers' Bridge does not challenge or threaten the authority of any legitimate government. The information on this website is provided in accordance with the right to free speech. It does not constitute accounting, tax, or legal advice. Anyone seeking such advice should consult a competent professional. READERS AND USERS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE PARTICULARLY URGED TO OBEY ALL LAWS IN THE UNIVERSE! |
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